Excerpts from Two Steps From Hell
by ssserpensssotia
Summary: How does it feel to be on the top of the world? Excerpts from Two Steps From Hell.


Excerpt from Two Steps From Hell: Lucius Malfoy's Troubles

 _The story does not have any plot, and there will be one POV per chapter._

 _Warning: the chapter is written from a Lucius Malfoy's Point of View, when he is the Minister of Magic and everything runs smoothly. Could be offensive if you're sensitive. If you're not, it's still extremely offensive._

 _Author is not Lucius Malfoy, so the author cannot be blamed for anything Lucius Malfoy says. It's a fictional character, like all others in the story, and does not represent the author's beliefs, and the author does not speak through the characters._

 _Beta: Julie. fjad_

Blonds have more fun

He was sitting in his leather Minister chair, in his Head Minister's office.

"Suck harder, Andrea."

He looked back to the documents in his right hand that was leaning on the edge of his mahogany table, and put his left hand onto the blonde head of his secretary.

"I said, harder."

 _The Marlboro family would be honoured to have Minister Lucius Abraxas Malfoy as a guest of honour at the celebrations…_

Everyone wanted his time and attention.

Today he still had three meetings with banks and stock holders, and additionally, he needed to spend some time with the numbers. He needed to create magic.

Otherwise his perfect world would come to an end.

And magic would not be the word he'd use to describe what Andrea was doing now.

Lucius grabbed the blonde head of his secretary with both hands and started hammering into her throat, enjoying her choking that vibrated in his cock.

If she closed her jaw, he'd close her casket.

Ahhhh, yesssss….

Lucius felt his bones melt from the orgasm and relaxed, he leaned back into his chair.

Andrea was on the floor, holding her throat, but otherwise already accustomed to his hard ways.

He paid her more than she could spend, and she wasn't complaining.

"First, you get me the Orlov Diamond. For allowing you to come instead of catching you off guard during that magnificent performance of yours, and making the jaws of your secretary close in surprise, teeth biting with force. It would have really hurt, husband mine."

In the doorways stood Narcissa.

Fuck.

xxx

Pink.

It was a complicated colour, and you have to know how to wear it, especially if you're a straight man.

He wasn't talking about gay-pink.

Soft, pastel pink looked beautiful with a white shirt and a pale tie of the same, pink colour.

He wouldn't wear pink trousers, though. They were light grey, like his leather shoes with pale pink soles.

The reflection in the mirror satisfied him, and he stepped away from it.

He had slept three hours and he had an early meeting.

It was him who had set the early 7 a.m. meeting, so he shouldn't really complain.

More and more opportunities were opening before his greedy, addicted eyes, and he wanted them all.

So he spent more and more time up, expanding his empire.

The Dark Lord's Empire.

He was once more combing his hair _—with an anti-frizz enchanted hairbrush made of hardened veela hair that had cost him more than a mansion would—_ when he felt his Mark burn.

Lucius sobered up from his daydreaming and immediately apparated to the call.

The rest will wait.

 _xxx_

His Lord was eyeing him with a raised eyebrow.

Didn't he approve of pink?

"I hate that colour, Lucius. I suggest you choose carefully, next time, before appearing before my eyes."

He still didn't know why his Lord hated pink, even after all those years.

The Mudblood _—Hermione!—_ was shaking her head, stifling a smile that wanted to stretch across her red lips.

It looked like she knew…

"I want you to supervise Dolohov's project."

Surprise!

Not.

"I'm already on it, my Lord."

As if he had nothing better to do…

"And before you go, Lucius…" the Dark Lord smiled a small smile and raised his wand.

"Pink was Professor Dumbledore's magic's colour."

It was the Mudblood who suddenly enlightened him, before he heard the dreaded word.

Just great.

" _Crucio!"_

Xxx

When he apparated back home, into his ancestral home, he wished for a glass of Firewhiskey and some time alone.

He was so fucking tired.

In the main dining room stood the richly decorated table with all sorts of gourmet food. At the table sat Narcissa, whose cold, blue eyes were twinkling with revenge and satisfaction.

The Orlov diamond _—_ a 102 carat stone that had cost him a small fortune _—_ had already been delivered to his wife, and Lucius would have believed it to be the end of her revenge, had he not seen the person sitting opposite of the smiling Narcissa.

No, please!

He wanted back to the Dark Lord and Crucios.

A woman with shiny blond hair and so many sparkling stones that Lucius wished to put his shades on, was sitting opposite of Narcissa, and judging by the glare of those grey, cold eyes that twinkled with dementia, his wife had already shared his secrets.

He would run away, had the hag not seen him.

What was she doing here?

"Mother."

Xxx

"Tell me, Lucius, why are you dressed like a faggot?"

And people claimed him to be the most horrible moral offender. He was a pureblood fanatic who was also the Head Minister of Magical Union. The Dark Lord did not care what Lucius was doing and how, as long as the Dark Lord's power expanded both in territory and financial markets.

His back was covered by none other than the Dark Lord, and Lucius could try every market trick he wished to.

Who would arrest him?

People were so naïve sometimes. They didn't think of where the money came from.

They didn't ask, _'Tell me, Lucius, how you earned your first trillion. Or, Tell us, Lucius, just how smart are you?'_

He was the epitome of success and his mother still dared to talk to him like that.

Had it been Narcissa, who had uttered the words, he would have drawn his wand and a short Crucio would have followed.

His mother, however…

He couldn't hurt his mom.

It sounded fluffy, but it was true.

He wanted to cry bloody tears that he couldn't raise his wand _—and hand—_ at his mother.

He, who could kill a camp full with people and not even blink, was a wuss when it came to his mother.

Narcissa always blamed him for his extreme views on many topics, while his mother had been on his side all the time. That was, before she had gone crazy.

He would have killed her already for all the things she had done and said, but his worst punishment was reducing his mother's _—his, unlimited—_ spending account from unlimited to only twenty million per month.

It had been his most brutal punishment and Lucius had wanted to smack his own face. He couldn't do anything against the person who had raised him.

Who had been a good mother before the Wizarding type of mental illness took over.

Lucretia Malfoy nee Malfoy.

She had been his father's second cousin, from the French line of the family.

"Lucius."

It was Narcissa who whispered his name in well-hidden fury when he didn't acknowledge the occupants of the room.

Did he space off?

He needed a day off, dammit!

"Mother, you're as charming as always. I'll have you know this is a worldwide trend now," Lucius said while kissing the powdered cheek and allowing her to kiss him.

"If you start wearing nothing but pink underwear, trust me, more than half of your idiotic population will follow your example. A whole world with people who wear only drag-queen pink underwear and no other cloth on, is wonderful. But it makes you think, who is the faggot that started it all?"

He saw Narcissa wanted to say "gay, not faggot" _—_ something about human rights, he didn't really listen _—_ but he knew his wife. She kept her lips shut, not wanting to start a serious discussion at the moment when his bones needed to be chewed out.

And people thought him to be cruel.

xxx

"Mother, please."

Lucius put the napkin down, not enjoying the chocolate dessert anymore.

"I am telling you, my son, the Dark Lord needs to take over that country. Two fat men tonguing each other in front of an old lady is just not right!"

Narcissa would pay dearly for bringing his mother into it.

It was a weak spot and she had hit without mercy.

"Lucretia, please, can we talk about Lucius?"

Narcissa was now showing her large, blue eyes in a silent request, and then his mother was glaring at him.

Oh, boy.

"You may not be a faggot, but an arsehole you surely are."

Lucius cringed at the vulgar language, but there was nothing he could do. Dementia wasn't treatable.

"Mother…"

"You cannot keep your cock in your pants and it will be the end of you, just like with your father. Chicken-pox my ass."

Narcissa couldn't hide her pleased smile even behind the crystal glass full with white wine.

"Mom-"

"Or your faggot great-father who loved to suck lollipops and eat shi-

"Mother, we _are_ eating."

"Be quiet, Lucius. I am not done yet."

With a heavy sigh Lucius leaned his head onto his hand.

He was Lucius bloody Malfoy and here he was, sitting silently and listening to his mother, like a naughty four year old.

"Narcissa has to suffer through many things if you're anything like your father. And he was invisible compared to you, my son. I raised you to be strong and successful. I didn't raise you to dress like a faggot and run around with your cock on fire." Lucretia Malfoy drank her disgusting drink, and pinned him with her penetrating, hard look. "I know you're the world's leading drug manufacturer and dealer, and I know you wash money in amounts that even sounds incredible, and you are happily selling Muggle weapons around the world, enforcing muggle wars. And then the porn industry. And human trafficking. You're a monster, Lucius."

He was looking at his mother, and he really didn't know what to say.

"Well…"

"Shut it. I also know the amount of Laws you have taken against the muggles, and I see the way you manipulate and build society. I am disgusted but awed by you, my son."

Did he hear right?

Awed?

"You are the Head Minister of Magical Union, and even I understand the amount of power you hold in your hands. You are the most famous Malfoy there has ever been. Around the world. My son."

Narcissa was now frowning, not understanding what his mother was doing. She was supposed to reprimand him.

And she was, but not really.

It sounded mad, but his mother had always been there for him. After his father had died, something in his mother had snapped, and as the Mediwizards explained later, it was a form of inherited mental sickness.

His mother was crazy seventy percent of the time, even while taking the best medication available.

He had sent her off to Magical America, and knowing his mother's new love for Muggle movies, he had bought her a mansion in a sunny, good-sounding city.

Los Angeles.

There was a team of fifty people who worked and lived with his mother. He had hired people to be her friends with Unbreakable oaths and eight-digit paychecks. It was immoral, but he couldn't allow old friends to laugh at her behind her back, and she needed comrades to associate with. And the staff. When Lucretia had had sane phases, she had asked for it herself. Asked to live somewhere in luxury and comfort.

And he had gladly complied.

He now owned a muggle entertainment park, a hot-dog stand and a Posh. Or was it Porsche? _Muggles_.

His mother could buy whatever she wished, and Lucius was happy. And now, Narcissa dragged his mother, who was in a sane phase, here, because she knew Lucretia hated cheaters. Abraxas had been one.

"Are you on drugs?"

He must have spaced off again, and Lucius shook his head before rubbing his eyes.

"I need a vacation."

"You need to keep your treasures in your pants, and you'll find a lot of spare energy." The elder blonde woman leaned back and drank one more glass of her mint-caramel brandy- _disgusting_.

Lucius opened his mouth to somehow make his mother understand when he saw her eyes glaze over.

 _Mom._

A red ball appeared before him, with Cantankerus Nott's signature and Lucius threw the napkin onto the floor.

What now?!

"Narcissa, I'll be back soon."

Grabbing the ball, he apparated to the emergency call.

Xxx

"Tell me, Nott, must you be such a retard?"

Lucius's silver cane with a snake head smacked one of the containers, and he gritted his teeth.

"I mixed it up with the other package. It was shrinked and it was in the form of a cube...Come on, Malfoy, what do we do now?"

Lucius was leaning onto one container that had no more charms on it, and all he wanted to do was make Nott eat it all.

" _We_ will do nothing. You will go and apologize for the delay, and I will deal with the problems you have caused."

"Lucius, we are in this together, and it's my share too-"

"Your share? Do you want to go yourself, hm, Nott? How about that, you go to Turkey and explain why they have received five containers full with cocaine, heroine and fifty new drugs that we are throwing into the muggle drug market, instead of one small container with special herbal tea!"

He knew he was shouting, but idiocy had to have its borders.

His Dark Mark started to burn, and Lucius almost cried out in frustration.

If anyone thought ruling a world was easy, they were wrong.

xxx

 _A/n Hi! I dedicated all my focus to my thesis, and you know what happens when I focus on something :) So, I need a break from the official language and I need to write for fun to keep my sanity. If you're interested, I'll do more chapters. At the moment I plan a chapter from Narcissa's POV. All the themes will be kept light and simply for mine—and hopefully yours too—entertainment. I will most likely change the name of the story if I add more chapters. Thank you for reading!_


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